Why Criticism Hurts?

Many people term criticism as something that bothers them, irritates them, or offends them. However, in reality, criticism hurts above anything else. All these feelings of irritation, apprehension, and offensiveness come later on, but it hurts the moment it comes out of someone’s mouth.

I know this because I have gone through a lot of criticism and mostly from people I dearly love. That did hurt, and it sometimes broke my heart, but all these people were trying to protect me.

I am, in fact, a person who is bothered by criticism the most and no matter how much I write about it, this one thing hurts me every damn time. And nowadays, even if I am walking crookedly on purpose and someone tells me, “Walk properly.” I am instantly offended because you know, I go by the rule, “Don’t try to criticize me or I’ll ruin you.”

Well, not literally, but that is me, and I have a reason for this behavior.

Early in my freelance career, every person I knew was against my choice and criticized me for making multiple wrong choices. I don’t say that I have made all the right choices in the past, in fact, I am the person who has made all the wrong choices. However, I don’t agree with the fact that I should stop doing what my heart feels is right because everyone else is against it.

So, there I was, having left a permanent job with excellent work profile, trying to juggle between different freelance clients. The moment I used to talk to my friends regarding the struggle I am going through, everyone used to criticize me.

I clearly remember one of my friends saying, “Are you crazy? People don’t shift to freelance because there is no work consistency. So, first of all, you started freelancing, and now you are complaining about it.”

While I was not complaining, I was terribly hurt.

Then, there were days when because of this criticism, I was depressed and stopped working. However, even though I realized very late, I accepted the fact that I have to prove everyone wrong. And here I am, one year later, happily carrying on with freelance work and not paying attention to what others think.

Recently, I came across a research which says that it takes 5 positive events to let go of a negative event.

So, practically, when you criticize someone, it can take a lot of appreciations or positive comments to get back to normal or forget what happened.

On a serious note, I just feel that whenever we criticize someone, it should not be to belittle them. There is a way of delivering criticism, which should be used if you really care about the person.

Photo by Julian Paul on Unsplash

3 months ago

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